They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize