I'm lost and stupid without you.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
