K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
