Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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