your room smells of hookers.
And success
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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