You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i will never coherently bang her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
