I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
