I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
