it's like iHOP with fire
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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