what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You were trust falling into bushes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize