YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
