would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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