Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's shark week go big or go home
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
