i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
