I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have post one night stand depression
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