This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
