my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
