We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
