I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
