All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
