she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize