i would punch a child for taco bell
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
