I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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