Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
