BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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