i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
