i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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