Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
