i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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