How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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