You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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