She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
