The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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