She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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