I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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