Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
