Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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