I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We have so much sex to catch up on
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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