There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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