She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
