we have officially lost it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
