hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
