I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
