i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
