Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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