I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
