what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
