she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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