I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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