That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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