how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
