having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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