I wish I could punch you in the face.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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