A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
