Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
