She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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