So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
