I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
