Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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