if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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