Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
