His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
