So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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