She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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