Where did you get a picture of my penis
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Green mimosas i think yes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
